Here I am, back at writing again, lol. To those of you who follow and read my blog, I have to say three things:
1. Thank you so much!
2. I love you and you are great!
3. I'm SORRY!
I have to admit, it's been on my mind since I typed my New Year's resolutions blog that I need to stick to them. I've also been aware that I have not been doing that. And that's why I am apologizing. I do absolutely still believe that God has, in part, called me to be a writer. It's funny that after being so fired up about my list of resolutions at the beginning of the year, I just let them kind of die off. I thank all of you for being there for me, and want you to know that in the back of my mind, I always felt like you guys were waiting for me to write again, (because I said I would, lol), and that you were cheering me on in your minds. For that, I thank you. In the last week, I had become so angry and aggravated with myself that I wanted everything to come together for me and just be at the end of my dream, where many great things had been accomplished. The thing I realized about that is, you cannot get to the end if you don't start in the beginning! Actually, it took me coming to God and praying about why I felt so miserable for me to get my answers. I fell to my knees, asking "Why?", and "God what is this I'm feeling?", and just like that, it all cleared away, and in came peace. In that peace, I could see and feel so clearly. I feel that I am called to be a writer, and also, I feel called to be a pastor someday.
Those are two great feelings, and things I know in my heart that I love. The thing is, in that peace I wrote of, He showed me so clearly what I already know. He showed me, and reminded me of my blog, and my promises to keep writing at the beginning of the year, and also, that in my future, part of me being a pastor will be me taking a Bible course which is easily accessible and very affordable to me. The problem that was causing the way I was feeling? I haven't been writing. I left my dream in oblivion and went on chasing this career I am in that has nothing at all to do with where I see myself being in ten or twenty years from now. I do not mean that I will not or should not continue advancing in the career I am in while I am in it - I think I should do all I can to move forward and move up in it. I just don't think I should leave my dream hanging in the wind when I'm doing that. Plus, with God pushing me forward, I don't think I can. I can see that He always calls me back to my true love. And for that, I thank Him. And again, I thank you for reading! God bless!
